Friday, February 25, 2011

The David Boyle / Donald Rumsfeld Letters



The preamble here is this interview Donald Rumsfeld did with Jon Stewart of The Daily Show. It's far less awkward than this other interview Rumsfeld did on the radio with comedian Louis C.K.

I don't think Donald Rumsfeld is a lizard. However, I do know based on my own experiences in government communications in 2001 that he is a baldfaced liar whose utter contempt for the public smokes off him like a cinder jacket.

In his Twitter feed, alluding to the interview with Stewart, he wrote:

My goodness! Watch the full unedited @thedailyshow interview online: http://bit.ly/fhPSXb



So today, I thought I'd see if he wanted to have a conversation. I sent him the following tweets:

@RumsfeldOffice My goodness! That's quite an interview! At least he stopped short of asking you if you were a lizard.

@RumsfeldOffice You're going to face the void soon with a lifetime of evil and contempt behind you. My goodness!



I'm currently waiting on a reply. Meanwhile, I'd encourage you all to take the time to personally thank this soulless fucking lizard for playing his part in squandering your children's future. Thanks to Rob Sheridan for pointing me at this.

Update: Rumsfeld posted the following comment to his Twitter feed within about 30 minutes of my attempts at communicating with him.

What a past few weeks! Thank you twitter followers – I appreciate reading all your kind comments.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Sunday, February 6, 2011

If Stephen Harper had a love child with a unicorn it would look like this

From a letter to The Ottawa Citizen:


In Dan Gardner’s February 4th piece, “Harper’s supposed evil plan isn’t panning out”, we “non-fans” of the prime minister, characterized by the intensity of our loathing for the man, are assured that he is, in fact, a “nasty but inconsequential” being whose true threat to Canadian society is overstated. We are encouraged to resist the temptation to think of Harper as Sauron spreading the darkness of Mordor across the land, because that sort of rhetorical finger-pointing is precisely the sort of tool that Harper makes such devastating use of. We’re the rational ones. We should not presume to use the One Ring to good effect.

It’s an age-old problem that nobody has ever really figured out how to address. In the eternal struggle of light versus the darkness, goodness has to act honourably, while evil is allowed to cheat. Well, at least goodness is allowed to be smug once in a while.

Bless Gardner for his caution and his Gandalfian words of wisdom, but allow me to play devil’s advocate for just a moment, and express a few thoughts that I think are salient in this discussion of what sort of damage Stephen Harper’s reign is really doing to our society.

Famously and quite recently, Obama addressed Americans in a frank and earnest manner (he does earnest really well, that man) and told them to get off their collective asses and rise to the challenges of the day, which are considerable. Embedded in that cryptic entreaty (us? Do something?) was a subtext hinting that a lowering of expectations might not be the worst thing in the world in light of what’s coming.

China is on the rise. Climate change is real and it’s happening now. The economy has tanked and may not recover. The middle class is gone and it isn’t coming back. The internet is destroying or transforming everything in its path – bookstores, bookshelves, libraries, video rentals, dirty magazines, readable magazines, newspapers, the music industry, nations, dictators, the stock market, banking. The entire public service is about to retire, and the best and brightest of our generation are working hard at making video games. That sounds like a bad thing, but really, these days, setting up shop in a crummy little apartment and playing World of Warcraft until China takes over isn’t an illogical alternative to raising a family in good faith that they’ll have a chance to compete and enjoy a decent life.

It is, indeed, the future. It is a brave new world. It is a twittering, facebooking, globally warm, peak-oil apprehending, overpopulated, underfed, increasingly less biodiverse world we live in, right now. This being the case, I don’t see how Stephen Harper’s rudderless, bent, pseudo-messianic drive to clamp down on criminals and layabouts, to import Fox News north of the border, or to do whatever other batshit insane thing he seems to think worthwhile, can be seen as anything but singularly destructive to our national dream, to our hopes for the future, to the continuance of our species.

Many of us still think of the political landscape as being one of right versus left, where good-natured people of differing ideologies can politely agree to disagree about which direction is the best one. This thinking is, sadly, becoming dated. The talk in Universities these days is that democracy is a demonstrable failure, because a four-year planning horizon cannot adapt to the challenges facing humanity. The Chinese understand this, and they have a government run by engineers, while ours is run by idealogues, propagandists, lawyers, and self-interested lobbyists. The United States stands paralyzed in the high-beam staring contest between those who love reason and those who feel threatened by it. The coming years will not be kind to them. Just watch what happens.

The truth is, reason plays very little part in helping people to make up their minds. We all like to think of ourselves as reasonable people, but we’re not… or, if we are, it’s a trick we’ve learned to play when we have an audience, like a dog standing on its hind legs.

What changes people’s minds is advertising. Harper understands this. It’s why he’s sticking around. Those of us on the left, those of us huddled up in Gondor, we like to think of truthful things to say, say them once, and let our sense of moral superiority be the rocky ground on which those few scattered seeds fail to find purchase. Harper understands that bullshit grows better gardens. In a time when truth and action are what we are being called to, that makes him anything but inconsequential. It makes him dangerous, and evil.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

10 Tips for Clean Living

Just because I need to write something, I thought I'd outline some general operating principles that I think are sound.

I usually believe what I say at the time that I say it.

1.> Not being too proud of your opinions is a good thing. Still, if you have to choose between having a belief or an opinion, you're better off to have an opinion. Language is important. Why 'believe' or 'disbelieve' something when you could ponder, doubt, think, feel, wonder, guess, suppose, or estimate? Try mixing some of those words into your dialogue next time you're elaborating on how you feel about a complex topic.

2.> Everything's going to be alright... so long as your problems are primarily first world problems. Sorry about how much this all sucks for the rest of you. Really.

3.> Diet mayonnaise sucks. Other than that, diet and exercise really do seem to make a difference.

4.> Having a lot of conversational boundaries tends to result in some pretty narrowly defined psychological boundaries.

5.> Your inner critic needs to go fuck itself once in a while. The more, the merrier, honestly.

6.> The question of whether or not God exists is a whole lot less interesting than the question of whether or not you exist. It requires someone unusual to question the obvious.

7.> Being a little bit afraid of death actually helps you get shit done.

8.> I generally hate people who shit rainbows out of their ass just for the sake of being smug, but it turns out that smiling actually does fire electricity into the 'happy' part of your brain. It's an easy, quick fix... also, prozac.

9.> I think it's really important to occasionally scream out obscenities when nobody expects it. Remind everyone not to take you for granted.

10.> Get your ass off Facebook for a bit. Also, if you're playing World of Warcraft, and you're not an invalid, or retired, consider quitting. You know those experiments where a monkey sits with a wire into the pleasure center of his brain, and just presses the button over and over until he dies because he can't take a break for a food pellet? That's you.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Just a note on the power of language.

When I first discovered and used email, I was just thrilled with it, for about a period of three weeks. When it dawned on me that I had just discovered a new obligation, I admit I withdrew a bit.

Ditto for cellphones. As a privacy advocate, I've had a hard time convincing myself that there's any real need to carry those damn things around.

I even think answering machines are a bit weird.

Social media is another link in that chain. "No, Mom, I don't want to be facebook friends. Yes, we're still friends."

It occurs to me that one of the more interesting facets of social media is how it seems to map itself on pre-existing deep structures in our brains based on its use of language.

As a thought experiment, imagine a website like facebook that was identical in every way, had the same users, the same popularity, offered the same amount of connectivity in the same format, but instead of connections being labeled as 'friends' they were labeled as, I don't know, say, 'assfaces.'

Instead of 'liking' something or someone, you got to press a button to 'jerk off' to it.

It would change the whole context of it, wouldn't it? But why? Everything else about it is still the same. It should be no different than putting your profile in piratespeak mode for kicks, right?

Anyways, I get that there's research behind this. Reading text simulates having memories. Nothing that new or profound there, perhaps...

It's good to keep in mind, though. These interactions have taken on some dimension of significance that is disappointingly misleading, I think.