Sunday, January 30, 2011

10 Tips for Clean Living

Just because I need to write something, I thought I'd outline some general operating principles that I think are sound.

I usually believe what I say at the time that I say it.

1.> Not being too proud of your opinions is a good thing. Still, if you have to choose between having a belief or an opinion, you're better off to have an opinion. Language is important. Why 'believe' or 'disbelieve' something when you could ponder, doubt, think, feel, wonder, guess, suppose, or estimate? Try mixing some of those words into your dialogue next time you're elaborating on how you feel about a complex topic.

2.> Everything's going to be alright... so long as your problems are primarily first world problems. Sorry about how much this all sucks for the rest of you. Really.

3.> Diet mayonnaise sucks. Other than that, diet and exercise really do seem to make a difference.

4.> Having a lot of conversational boundaries tends to result in some pretty narrowly defined psychological boundaries.

5.> Your inner critic needs to go fuck itself once in a while. The more, the merrier, honestly.

6.> The question of whether or not God exists is a whole lot less interesting than the question of whether or not you exist. It requires someone unusual to question the obvious.

7.> Being a little bit afraid of death actually helps you get shit done.

8.> I generally hate people who shit rainbows out of their ass just for the sake of being smug, but it turns out that smiling actually does fire electricity into the 'happy' part of your brain. It's an easy, quick fix... also, prozac.

9.> I think it's really important to occasionally scream out obscenities when nobody expects it. Remind everyone not to take you for granted.

10.> Get your ass off Facebook for a bit. Also, if you're playing World of Warcraft, and you're not an invalid, or retired, consider quitting. You know those experiments where a monkey sits with a wire into the pleasure center of his brain, and just presses the button over and over until he dies because he can't take a break for a food pellet? That's you.

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